Archive for August 30th, 2011
The Marriage Clash
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3.8
Several years ago JoAnna and I had entered a season of our life together where we were bickering quite frequently. We had been married a few years and had settled in well together, but things were tense – we weren’t as easy easy going with each other as we had previously been. It was at that time I came across Peter’s instructions to be compassionate, like-minded, loving toward one another, sympathetic, and humble. Out of this I pulled an acronym, CLASH, and behind it, my goal was us learning to CLASH together better – instead of fighting, to be of one mind, to understand one another, to love with out hesitancy, to be empathetic, and to honor each other above ourselves.
This wasn’t about me – it was about our marriage. At the time my own parents were splitting up and I was faced with a sense of urgency for the preservation of my marriage. I didn’t (and I know JoAnna didn’t) want to allow any sense of a rift to start as a crack from that season of our lives. And it wasn’t a big deal – I wrote it out on a little yellow sticky note and tagged it to the fridge after JoAnna and I talked about it. But, in retrospect, it was probably one of the most important things we’ve agreed on and subconsciously pursued.
Individually it’s not about me. And it’s not about her. It’s about us and the testimony our lives present day in and day out. And it’s not like we don’t fight – we still do and it’s usually because one or the other or both of us are not being like-minded, compassionate, sympathetic, loving, or humble.
For me, the humility aspect is the biggest thing. If I take the time to deflate my ego I am more likely to be compassionate, sympathetic, like-minded, and loving. I adore my wife. But I am more in awe of God, that at just the right time, in the tiniest of ways, he would show up and point me in the right direction that would change our entire lifestyle.
It was the smallest of decisions, but it has made the largest impact in our lives.
